Monday, December 5, 2011

Recommended Site - To the New Submissive

Recommended Site -

The web is full of sites about D/s and slavery in a BDSM relationship. When we (you and anyone else at Toys) find one that holds valuable information, I hope you will pass it on to others. I discovered one such site just the other day and have spent hours looking through the articles on many aspects of the D/s experience. My review is still in progress, however, I have found so much good in it that I feel comfortable in passing it on already.

The site contains an index that covers many, many topics including some interesting articles highlighting some differences between slaves and submissives. Our situation at Toys often has both types of people applying to be part of the family. Other areas of the site deal with Dominants, one article that struck me dealt with Dominant vs Domineering , another,
Master vs Abuser  meshed nicely with some my recent studies on BDSM vs Abuse . Even something on Virtual Domination  and that old standby, just who's in charge here, The Illusion of Control There are far too many excellent articles for me to list here, these represent only a few that I found interesting, there were so many more. I encourage you to take a look at the site and learn what you can from it.

Below, I've reprinted an article from the site, titled To The New Submissive, but, please don't stop here. Go to the site, Seekers, and search for articles about things that interest you or that you want to learn more about or that you might find contentious. The opinions are gathered and printed from various authors, I'm sure you'll find things you agree with and maybe even some that seem totally wrong to you, just remember, we are all individuals, there is no "right way" only the way that is "right for you". Make it a journey.

To the New Submissive

author unknown
Over the course of my time on line I have seen many people come and go from this lifestyle. I have seen people that had to struggle for every ounce of understanding they came by... others who it came quite naturally too. Defining who we are and what we are can only come from deep inside ourselves. This comes from the natural order of self-actualization. We strive for a better understanding of that which motivates us, what we need to survive to find contentment and peace within. What sets us aside from every other person and makes us unique in our own way.

The focus today is on the growth of the submissive and finding a way in this vast and not always easily understood lifestyle. I have sat a lot lately thinking about the why's. I have thought about the lessons I have learned along the way on my own journey. What has made me unique in my own way. How I came to the point I am. The hard and sometimes bitter lessons I learned along the way. The tears I have shed. The joys I have shared. The people that have touched my life along the way and the lessons they offered me. I have thought about what they gave me that motivated me to wish to succeed in this lifestyle; to find my own niche so to speak.
One of the first lessons I learned was To thy own self be true. What does that mean? When people first come into the lifestyle they aren't sure what it is they are seeking. But usually they find someone they admire and they want to and hope to someday be just like them. They are confused and trying to grapple with the societal norms and mores and values they are leaving behind. To make this lifestyle acceptable to their own conscious. I can remember saying , I can only hope I could become as good a submissive as so and so is someday. In the beginning I stored away so and so's pearls of wisdom. I would refer back to them over and over and try to figure out what she was telling me. I admired her willingness and her ability to submit to one. The manner and grace in which it came to her.

Now I am sure some wonder: but how did you get to that point? I had a lot of help along the way. Many Dominants influenced my formation through this time as well as the senior submissives I have known. The hardest lesson I ever had to learn was to be humble. Humble in the aspect of being able to ask for the wisdom and training I needed to become what I am today. To say I don't know how to do this and I need help. To define where I was and where I was going. To define what I was seeking. The most important issue was to define who I was. Independent of any Dominant or male. Its okay to not know in the beginning but you must be honest with yourself and others along the journey.
The weak didn't survive in this lifestyle. It isn't for everyone. Very few submissives actually make it in the lifestyle for very long. Many burn out after a few months or a couple years returning to the vanilla life. The ones that burn out are the ones that couldn't seem to follow the rules, are looking for someone to rescue them and take them away , or were just in it for the game. They had a mental block against learning. They couldn't find a Dom that met all their specifications. So they have a history of going through Doms as quickly as they changed their underwear. So the ones that do make it, how did they do it????

The ones that make it know what they are looking for. They understand the value of taking care of heart and home first. They understand the value of learning. They understand the value of making themselves available for learning from those that touch their lives. They understand that all learning may not involve a love relationship but a mutual understanding of honesty and respect. They have taken the time to determine what is and is not a priority in their lives. Learning to become and draw out the submissive part of yourself into the wide open is a very mentally taxing journey. BECAUSE it is such a mentally taxing journey you need to keep yourself physically healthy as well as emotionally and mentally. The most important aspect to me always has been honesty in all my affairs.

Okay so let’s break out each of the above..
The ones that make it know what they are looking for.

This submissive has set down and taken the time to look at all facets of her personality and her life. She determines what areas need work on. She has determined what it is she is looking for. She knows the profile of the man she responds best too. The sort of man that turns her juices on, so to speak. With this she has come to the understanding that although she may desires the ever after it may not be there. She lives for today and doesn't worry about tomorrow. In other words she doesn't fret over what hasn't happened yet. She knows what she wishes to seek. She may decide she wishes a period in an unattached relationship. She may decide what she wants is to learn, as a submissive. Its doesn't mean that it will stay that way. As she grows in her submission she will determine she needs different things as she grows. That is the natural order of things. She must first determine what she values the most and work from that. She must correct the personality flaws she knows are there with help or alone. She knows she must function from a level of honesty, trust, respect and desire to learn an openness, and being responsible for her own actions.

They understand the value of taking care of heart and home first.
She focuses on being healthy both mentally and physically. This means she eats well, sleeps well, and exercises. She challenges herself. She develops a routine. Arise at the same time. Eat healthy three times a day. Makes sure she exercises at least three times a week. If she is alone (single) she holds a job. She can support herself independently of a man. She knows a Dom will be looking at those things. The giving up of this is by choice not because she has no other option. If she has children she knows they must come first. She has responsibility. She embraces that responsibility and cares for those dependent on her for their own care as a Dom would care for her. She knows a mentally and healthy sub is very important when a Dom is looking you over.

They understand the value of learning. They understand the value of making themselves available for learning from those that touch their lives.
She does her research. She reads everything she can get her hands on. She increases her knowledge base. She knows a good submissive is intellectual, educated in affairs a Dom may wish to discuss, her manners are perfect, she carries herself with poise and grace. Her walk is elegant. Her reputation is beyond reproach. She functions from a very honest base. She knows how to present herself in social affairs She knows what it means to be the lady. When she comes across someone that could give her good solid advice and expand her knowledge base and her growth as a submissive she welcomes this. She is open to learning. She doesn't look at will this last forever. but I will enjoy this communication for the time that is lasts. I will grow from this. I used to always say I will give anything 3-6 months. The submissive understands good things come slowly to those that wait and have patience. PATIENCE is the key. she also understands she need not have a physical attraction to the one she is learning from but a connection and a desire to learn is uppermost.

I have had people that I went too with nothing more than a desire to learn what they had to offer. They had something I wanted. Something I wanted to learn about as a submissive. I valued the time they offered me to teach me. The lessons were many times hard. I cried many tears of not understanding. I hated them at times. I had temper tantrums. I learned to open myself to what they had to teach me. I learned to create a journal and write out what I felt. I learned to be totally honest with my emotions to not hide what was going on inside me... to allow a glimpse of what I was and where I was headed. I learned where my true limits were and weren't. In the beginning I felt I had tons of limits. I learned most of my limits came from my own fear. Fear I couldn't do it or fear how others would look at me if I did that. Once I gave up that fear... away went many limits. Again opening myself to learning and growth as a submissive. I learned to love them and respect them for what they taught me about myself. From this my submission opened and grew. and GREW and GREW!!

They understand that all learning may not involve a love relationship but a mutual understanding of honesty and respect.

I have met people I was involved with for understanding and learning. They were not love matches; but we shared a mutual respect for each other. We shared a bond of honesty, trust, commitment to the process of learning. We knew that the time for learning would come to a end at some point. We enjoyed each other for the time we shared. From it gave me different aspects of the lifestyle. I learned many different styles of domination. I learned many different styles of playing. I learned to expand my limits. I learned what I did and did not like in play. I learned where my psychological edges were. The one thing I found was I came to love them... not be in love with them: a big difference. This opens so many doors for you. You over time seek these people out for matters that affect you. You learn to ask them for help. They guide you and you follow that direction. However when its over... and the learning completed they can teach you nothing more (which does happen) she knows when to say its done completed and move on. She parts amicably. NO regrets. NO antagonism. She moves on freely.

They have taken the time to determine what is and is not a priority in their lives.

They understand home fires staying under control and balance is crucial to their ability to learn. I have seen many subs who were so engrossed in their on-line and real-time activities they have allowed their home life to deteriorate. They haven't done laundry or dishes in weeks. They put off paying bills. They ignore their children or spouse as the case may be. They haven't been outside their home except for work in months. If they don't work on-line becomes their entire focus. They sit on-line daily for hours at a time searching for that DOM. They become high maintenance because they have nothing else in their lives by THEIR OWN CHOICE. They have allowed their life to become unbalanced. Their priorities are screwed up. My children and their well-being and activities come first in my life. Master has always respected me for that choice. I know what my priorities are. I was never looking for someone to rescue me from my life.

Learning to become and draw out the submissive part of yourself into the wide open is a very mentally taxing journey. BECAUSE it is such a mentally taxing journey you need to keep yourself physically healthy as well as emotionally and mentally.
One of the things I was told long ago is a mentally unhealthy person doesn't belong in this lifestyle. It took me awhile to get the true understanding of this. If my self-esteem is trashed.... I would have a hard time opening myself to one that is willing to teach me. it will drain me emotionally. I have to have a confidence in what I am doing. I have to know what I want and be willing to open myself mentally and remain strong and sure of myself. I cannot be the submissive I wish to be if I harbor feelings of suspiciousness or jealousy. I cannot monopolize the time of someone without understanding they have others responsibilities. They may and usually do have other things going on in their life. They may be involved in work and societal responsibilities. I have to understand that time is valuable but their keeping their life balanced is just as important. They have to keep their life in control in order to control mine if given the opportunity to do so.

The most important aspect to me always has been honesty in all my affairs.

This is difficult for many people coming into the lifestyle. I know it should be easy but it always isn't. Telling little white lies will destroy you and your reputation within the Community. Sometimes we call this brutal honesty. I am brutal with myself many times. I will however admit I do have periods of denial. BUT it is my attempt to always be honest in my dealings with others. WHICH to me meant when I commit myself to someone as a submissive I stop looking for others. I focus on Master now and what he has to teach me about myself. Believe me anything you do will become common knowledge eventually. You screw someone over and others will find out about it . It's those things they remember. I highly respect the sub or Dom that says I am involved with you but I will continue to look for the perfect partner.

This is as I think and feel a submissive should make her/his journey. We all have to have standards which we follow and ones we can live with. We all wish for that perfect Dominant. However we do understand this may be down the road. In the meantime we grasp at the opportunities offered us. We do so in a honest and trustworthy manner. We always keep in mind our reputation and our standing in the community. If you want others around you to admire you and your ability as a submissive you learn how to present yourself to others in the best form. We take care of our priorities and others see this. As a submissive you always have choices... we hope on your journey you make the right choices and you always have the backing of the community in your endeavours. My goal has always been to be the best submissive I could be. I think I am making progress and I am always still learning. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

For you new submissives out there reading this, I wish you the best of luck and a happy journey. It will not be easy: growth and change comes hard. Sometimes with many tears. But from it you will become stronger and more sure of yourself and you will see direction and guidance as the key to your success. Grab the brass ring and fly into a world of learning and knowledge that is there for you.

Author: Unknown

Friday, November 25, 2011

Is It BDSM or Abuse?

The other night I was approached by a very confused and frightened girl. She had recently met a Master on an online site and made the decision to give up everything to go live with him in Real Life. Her friends had become alarmed at some of the things she was telling them about this new acquaintance and the girl had begun to wonder if she was making a mistake. I learned later on in the conversation that some of the friends were actually involved in the D/s community which gave their concerns even more weight in her eyes.

She took her concerns to her new Master and he seemed less than sympathetic, instead making it seem like she wasn't committed enough for him. And her questions about some of the things he had proposed doing to her unworthy of his comment. Some of the things she described were alarming, but, who can tell whether they were the posturings of a newbie Master or someone seriously unhinged.

Following some recent events, I had looked into the BDSM vs. Abuse question myself and was able to give her some suggestions on reading material. One of the things was the table I've reproduced below, it was on a website with one of those annoying jiggly "you've just won an ipad, click here" ads that make me want to leave right away before someone gets my info and spams me into next Tuesday. Here's the address, there is more info there...the table is just too good not to pass on. 

Another site that I've found thought provoking and helpful can be found here. Kinkylittlegirl, the author, indicates that the site has morphed from being just about BDSM into one that looks at all types of abuse. The sections on BDSM are full of links to informed and on point commentary on the subject, tables like the one below are not uncommon. Visit her site and read her interesting articles and give the links a close look...
One of her recent posts might give you pause, When is abuse not abuse?

You'll find lots of places to get advice and fetish friendly help on the net. Have a critical eye, but, Read, Read, Read...If you like print, one of the most helpful books out there about all things BDSM and an excellent starting point is Jay Wiseman's SM101, it's available from many booksellers, his publisher's siteGreenery Press even as an e-book from Amazon. His isn't the only book, but, it opens with some great advice about D/s relationships and emphasizes communication and consent then continues on with some practical advice.

Help with this issue is available in a number of Discussion Groups inside of Fetlife. You will need to sign up for Fetlife to participate, but, it's free and an excellent source of all things fetish FetLife

Finally, What has this got to do with Second Life? People visit the BDSM community in Second Life hoping to find something that either enhances their real life or to explore something they feel they are missing or something they are anxious to try. Granted some of the people we meet are strictly here for roleplay, but, if they take their role seriously, we hope that they have some real life experience or at the very least pledge to do no harm.
We cannot take a cavalier approach to what we do. The avatar opposite has a real live person at the other end. At the very least you might ruin their experience and at the worst you could cause some real psychological harm to an already fragile psyche.

If you are a submissive in Second Life and you see these things happening to you, protest, ask the abuser to stop. It's your responsibility to yourself. Don't argue with them, they aren't worth the trouble and upset. Unfortunate as it is, in a way you're can log off, get out of there and avoid that person in future. Don't feel that you have to put up with abuse, it's not your fault, no matter how much the abuser may want you to think it is.

A BDSM relationship starts with a friendship, love and concern. You care for each other's happiness. All involved will feel good and will be happy, no one is sorry.
In an abusive relationship someone is always sorry, someone is always hurt. The only happiness is that of the abuser - the abuser cares about their own happiness, and the victim is most concerned with keeping the abuser happy to avoid more / worse abuse.
BDSM is Consensual
The abuser isn't concerned with having permission they just do whatever they desire.
Submission is a gift that is given to the Dominant. The submissive chooses to obey, to give up control and keep choosing from moment to moment; day to day. The choice can be taken back at any time.
When the submission is taken / forced it becomes abuse. It is no longer submission and the individual becomes a victim. In an abusive situation there is no choice, you obey to keep peace and in the hope not to get hurt worst.
The Dominant creates a desire to serve out of love - they don't want the submissive to fear them. They are respectful, polite, caring, giving and kind.
An abuser forces the submission though fear and degrading an individual so they can feel strong and important. Demanding the submission one becomes a victim not a sub.
You are partners working as a team caring very much about the other's happiness and well being
The abuser isn't concerned about how the other feels or their well being.
BDSM is controlled - Negotiations are done to assure all involved are comfortable with what will be happening and there are no fears.
Abuse is out of control no one knows what will happen. There is no shared plan the abuser makes the decisions without any negotiations.
Limits are set to assure that it doesn't go any futher than is safe.
No limits are set to take into consideration what the victim wants or values.
The Dominant is very careful to make sure the sub feels safe and happy, and keeps them feeling that way. The Dominant takes the responsibility to assure the happiness and safety of a sub.
An abuser is neither.
Safe words/colors are chosen to stop the scene or let the individual know it is getting close to being too much.
No safety net at all, the abuser is feeding on fear to control the victim - they don't care if it pushes too far. The abuser is the only one that chooses when it is enough; the victim has no choice.
Precautions are taken so there are no injury physically or mentally.
In an Abusive situation the victim is left hurt either physically or mentally.
Most individuals involved in BDSM will be careful enter a scene without alcohol/drugs or emotional upset impairing their judgment.
An abuser isn't concerned if judgement is impaired by drugs or alcohol or emotional upset.
The submissive is responsible for her own happiness in life, but during a scene, the responsibility is the Dominant's. The Dominant teaches the sub to be strong.

If humiliation is involved in a BDSM relationship it is done out of pride - they are proud to show the sub off in public, proud they are their slut. The sub won't feel bad about the words and/or actions they will make the sub blush but they are excited and pleased.
In an abusive relationship the humiliation is done in a degrading manner to make someone feel worthless so the Abuser can be the number One in the relationship - they will insult the looks, the way things are performed or do something in public not for pleasure but to show they are in control. The words or actions hurt.

I hope this gets you thinking.

See you in Second Life, a place for completely safe and consensual relationships. If only abuse in Real Life was so easy to stop.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Marine Kelley's Restrained Love Viewer

I recently did a post on setting up RLV in Firestorm. Now, for Marine Kelley's original version.

One of the most respected viewers in Second Life is Marine Kelley's RLV. Once used almost exclusively by the D/s community, residents have found lots of ways to use it.
Want to know more about RLV? See my post here...
What is Restrained Love?

Marine's follows the Linden viewer platform. This version includes the very latest user interface changes.
I've included the links to the pages used below the video.
Go ahead, don't be shy, give it a try.
Click the video and watch in full screen and 720p HD for the best experience
See you soon in Second Life!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Protect Yourself in Second Life

If you're in business in Second Life, especially, my kind of business, it's always wise to protect yourself by saving your Chat and IM logs to your computer.
I've posted a video showing how to do it in Firestorm, Restrained Love, the Linden Viewer and Phoenix.
Be careful how you use the logs, they're for your protection and enjoyment. Sharing them with others without their permission is viewed by some as a violation of the Terms of Service.
Why get into the whole debate, be safe rather than sorry...keep them private.
Click on the video and view it full screen and in HD (720p)

See you in Second Life

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Restrained Love in Firestorm

I've created a new video about RLV, Restrained Love, for Firestorm.
If you are used to using the Linden viewer 2 / 3 platform, the Phoenix team and their V3 Default setting for the viewer makes Firestorm an attractive option. 
If you are unsure what Restrained Love means, see my blog post here
What is Restrained Love (RLV)?

Watch the video for information on where to find Firestorm and then how to activate RLV.
For the best results, open the video and watch in in full screen and HD

Friday, September 23, 2011

Great News! Firestorm Now Gives Option for V2/3 interface

Oh my goodness! So much good news, I may just burst.
I downloaded the latest version of the Firestorm viewer, still in beta, but, now enabled for Mesh.

Besides the Mesh ability (viewers not  so enabled do not see objects in mesh properly) the viewer start-up screen now gives the option to mimic V3 (the Linden viewer) or v1 (the old style interface) when you install Firestorm.
If you have been following my posts, you'll know that I created a video recently that illustrated how to make the standard Firestorm viewer look like the Linden Viewer. Happily, those instructions have been made unnecessary by the developers at Firestorm...Bravo!

Another piece of news hot off the presses for you viewer 1 people is that Phoenix will have mesh support. The developers at Phoenix correctly give credit to Henri Beauchamp (Cool VL viewer developer) for this development, but, caution that it's akin to  ( I love Jessica's metaphor) "putting the diesel engine from a bus into a Ford Pinto". You can read all of her comments on the Phoenix blog. 
Phoenix Viewer Gets Mesh   
It should be required reading for anyone still using the Phoenix viewer.

See you in world! maybe more people will be able to see my pretty mesh miniskirt now.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Color Under Cursor - Finding the RGB Values in Second Life

I'm sure that I mentioned I had a bunch of things I wanted to add here after my couple of weeks in a funk.
Here's another. I have a number of programs, mostly free, for getting the colours from objects, backgrounds, pages on my screen, you name it. Here's an application inside Second Life, it's not hidden, but, I think a lot of people don't know about it.
It can be helpful for matching colours in objects that you can modify.
Here's a short video, I've captioned it and also included the script below it.

 Click on it and watch in full screen's the script

Here's a neat little trick I use sometimes. It can be great for finding the RGB values of any object and then matching them. It is particularly useful for getting close to your skin shade for shoes.
You'll need the Developer menu to access "Color Under Cursor"
If you don't have it enabled, go to your preferences and under the Advanced tab check the box to show it. Click okay to save your new settings.
Now, left click Develop on the Menu and on the first drop down choose Show info, then on the next drop down select Show color under cursor.
Once you've done that look in the lower right of the screen to see the RGB values under wherever your cursor rests (they'll be the first 3 numbers).
When using the numbers for skin shading, I suggest that you set your sun to midday. Things like full bright settings in the shoes can affect the result so play around a little, it's worth it once you get them right.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Make Firestorm Look & Feel Like Linden Labs' Viewer 2

Just my feeling that some of our residents who learned on Viewer 2 might like the magic decoder ring to help them find regular menus and the Sidebar.
Firestorm is an excellent full featured viewer. The viewer has been set with defaults that in a few cases, not many actually, look like the old viewer 1 UI that some of you won't be familiar with. I hope the video helps.
It is in HD, for best viewing click on it and watch in full screen and set to HD

The link to the Phoenix site is...
Firestorm Beta Download

The video is captioned, but, I've included the script here...
The Firestorm viewer is a feature packed user interface based on the Linden viewer 2.  It was developed by the Phoenix team, one of the most robust third party viewer providers.  Because the viewer is intended to make the transition from the old style phoenix viewer, it contains some elements that you may not be familiar with if you currently use Linden's viewer 2.

The settings that I'll demonstrate here are only recommendations. You will no doubt customize the viewer in the future. 
If you haven't already downloaded the viewer, go to and choose the Firestorm Beta viewer for the platform you use.  Once you install it, we will make some changes.
On the bottom bar there are a number of icons that we can remove.  The viewer comes without a sidebar as the default.  Later, we'll learn how to choose a sidebar version.  What you take out of the bottom bar is up to you, I've removed a few things that are either repeated in the sidebar or on the top bar or seldom used.
The old viewer one interface used a pie menu and that menu comes as the default in Firestorm.  The pie menu does not exist in viewer 2, we'll learn how to change it.
Go to the Avatar (Me) menu item on the top bar, click and from the dropdown menu choose Preferences.  Now let's begin...
Under the general tab will set the away timeout to "never" and turn off UI Hints.
On the next tab "Chat" we'll turn off the typing animation and set chat to begin when we press letter keys. Turn on Group Chat pop ups if you follow any groups.
In Sound & Media, I turn off sounds, strictly a personal preference, not a recommendation.
In Network and Cache you can increase your bandwidth, if you have a strong connection. this is where you can modify the location of your chat logs, if you wish.
I like to use the arrow keys for movement, they're set in the Move & View tab.
In the Privacy tab you can set the viewer to save your chat and IM. Showing favourite LMs at login can be useful if you have favourite locations set up in landmarks.
I sometimes use the Developer and Advanced menus, they are set under the Advanced tab
Next we'll get rid of that pesky pie menu under the UI Extras and at the same time have the script dialogs stay where we're used to them by turning off the option to see them in the upper right
Now to get the Sidebar the Skins tab and choose a skin with Side Tabs
Only if you use RLV, you'll see an option under the Firestorm tab to "Allow remote scripted viewer controls(RLVa)" make sure it is checked. The same option is also available under the Advanced menu, both do the same thing.
Many of the changes we've made require a viewer restart, so click Apply then OK and log out. When you log back in the changes will be in effect.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Of SLCC 2011 - Second Life Community Conference

I'm baaaaack, so many things I want to write about. The next 3 posts should follow quickly... first the conference, more accurately, my own choice for best presentation.

Drum roll...the award goes to Aliza Sherman (cybergrrloh in Second Life) for a very upbeat presentation focusing, among other things, on what we can do to encourage new participation in Second Life.
Compared to numerous other presentations, where we heard the litany of what needs to be done, what has been done and believe it or not more whinging about the sidebar...please people just learn to use the new UI, Aliza's commentary provided practical suggestions for connecting with people, potential new users, out of world. Her overview of new apps and tried and true technologies available to connect with others is a must see for anyone with a business in Second Life or for just anyone who wants our community to grow.

You can access her presentation on ustream 
Aliza Sherman Presentation to SLCC 2011


Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Chickens Come Home to Roost

I guess it was bound to happen.
First, thank You Jessica Lyon. This is an excellent article describing how to work around the permissions "bug". 

Basically what happened was that a number of the TPV, almost all, responded to the Second Life community's loud groan when Linden deployed their new web profiles by using something more like the old profiles.

There are definitely some issues with web profiles, but, their purpose was to give SL a higher profile and that can't be all bad. They do load more slowly and they take up an inordinate amount of screen space, however, like all of the changes over the last year, you become accustomed to them relatively quickly. It is a pain for club owners and managers who often quickly scan a profile to learn more about their customers' likes, dislikes, wants and needs.

The solution to the permissions"bug" is to go to the online web profile and change the permissions there. It's not hard to do.
Jessica does an excellent job of explaining how to find them and what to do once you're there.

Friend Permissions Bug 

TUE, 19 JUL 2011

By Jessica Lyon

There have been more than enough reports from SL users to justify a blog post informing everyone of this new server bug and how to work around it. It was discovered by one of our support people on an RC region and reported to LL on the 9th of July, it was acknowledged by LL on July 12th but by then it was too late to stop the roll out onto the main grid.

The Bug
You can no longer change permissions for your friends while on a viewer which doesn't utilize Web Profiles and whether you are, or are not on a viewer that uses web profiles the friend you are changing permissions for needs to relog after you have set the permissions through their web profile. I am assured by LL that they intend to resolve this issue as soon as possible but at this time they cannot provide a date when the fix will be rolled out. You can read the Jira report about the bug here

The Work Around
In the meantime, there is a work around. First, you must open the "Web" profile of the person you wish to change permissions for. This includes Map rights, Modify my objects permissions and Online status permissions.
1. Open the web profile of the person you wish to change permissions for using the following URL in your web browser. Replace the first name and last name with the persons first and last name. If they do not have a visible last name do
2. Once you have their profile open, click on the "ACTIONS" button near the top and to the right, then choose "Permissions" from the sub menu.
3. Give or remove the permissions you wish to change and click "Save".
4. Now the person you've changed the permission for will need to relog in order for them to actually get the permission change.


If you just want to remove all permissions for a friend to default, you can just remove them from your friend list and re add them.

I hope this helps folks at least understand the bug and how to work around it. Lets hope LL can get the fix out soon!

Jessica Lyon
The Phoenix Viewer Project

Thank you again, Jessica! Wonderful post.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

This is Second Life

There is a constant debate in Second Life and sometimes outside of it about what Second Life is. It is a difficult place to describe because it includes so much.
For some it is a social network, for others a place to practice building, others still use it for commerce and creativity.
Personally, after nearly 3 years in Second Life I like to think I use it to one degree or another for all of these things. I have friends in Second Life, many are now Real Life friends. I could couch surf my way around the globe relying on the people I've met on every continent for a place to sleep. It is truly a marvelous place; safe, secure, diverse and just soooo much fun.
It's a challenge to show the quality of the graphics, but, I think this video does as good a job as I've seen.
You can be who you want to be in Second Life
Come in, give it a try...I think you'll like it
Click the video, enlarge it and play in full HD  (finally)

Monday, July 18, 2011

Enlarge this document in a new window
Publisher Software from YUDU

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Age Verification Changes in Second Life

What an incredible breath of fresh air. Gone is the age verification system that had people from all over the world sending passport, driver's license and SSN information for verification...yea!

To replace it a new age verification process, and this may sound familiar, you enter your date of birth, check a box verifying that it is true, then submit.
Yes, just that simple.

Go to your Dashboard, you'll find it under the Me menu, then Account and on that drop-down(mine always seems to be open to Account) choose Age Verification. There you'll find the boxes to enter your date of birth. If you have already given this information to Linden at some point, the boxes will be already filled in, mine were, then, put a checkmark in the box verifying that the information is true and submit.

Submitting this information is the first step, now go to your Preferences in the viewer (Ctrl+P) or (Me menu, Preferences, General) and change your preferences to allow you to view all content (General, Moderate and Adult).
So, there you are. If you've avoided checking out the incredible part of Second Life that is Adult because you were concerned about giving your private information...that bar has been lifted.
Come in and see what we have to offer. 

I think you'll like it.
See you in Second life!